Gecko Greetings from the Big Island

Just got back from the Big Island this weekend and needless to say, I have a new favorite animal. These beautiful creatures are not only fabulous at selling auto insurance, but they are very fun to watch! They are quite playful with each other and seem to love striking a pose for tourists. I definitely got the "I'm ready for my closeup" expression from a few over lunch.

Thus ends the February island hopping adventures (thankfully afforded by Go Airlines major deals!) This weekend was a bit different from Maui, in that it encompassed both high points (see above gecko love!) and low points. Well low may be extreme...stressful and seemingly life threatening points is more like it. Ya see on the Big Island well...it's big, vast really. And if you are driving at night and happen to be running out of gas, your options are pretty limited. If you are driving very late at night, due to an earlier misread on how long it would take you to get from Kona to Volcanoes National Park and then back to Kona, and you need emergency fuel, it actually turns out that neither the just-closing gas station nor the nearby police station are willing to give you any (even for cash). And thus, you may end up nailbiting your way back to Hilo (in the opposite direction of where you wanted to go) hoping you don't end up stranded on the side of a dark road somewhere in the vastness that is the Big Island.

Alas, my friend Lydie and I did indeed make it to the gas station and then sped back to Kona, arriving at 2:30 a.m. amped on lots of coffee and soda so that we did not crash our way through the dimly lit road that takes you around the island (note: there is really only one main road that takes you around the island...thus it takes a very very long time).

Aside from this unsolicited fear-instilling component to the trip, I must say I left with a definite desire to return and concluded that the Big Island is the most visually interesting of all the islands. It has snow covered mountains, volcanoes, the most dense and lush vegetation of all the islands, beautiful rolling green hills (almost reminded me a bit of New Zealand in parts), tropical jungles, beautiful high cliff beaches, white sand, black sand, grey sand and green sand beaches and almost desert like terrain in certain areas. It's just insane. You drive for 6 hours and you've gone through what seems like every possible type of terrain. Actually reminds me a lot of New Zealand in that respect. Although, I think New Zealnd gas stations would've been open later.

House of the Rising Sun

Ok honestly I'm beginning to find it pretty ridiculous that I live here for my dissertation research. Well actually not the "here" of the photo. This was in Maui at Haleakala (The house of the rising sun) national park last weekend for sunrise. With a 3:30am wakeup call, my french neighbor and I hit the road to reach the 10,000 mile up summit. Needless to say, Maui rocks. Definitely a fan. I've sorta declared February my birthday celebration month, partly cuz...why not? And partly cuz it's the month that Go airlines has great deals on interisland flights. And thus I will be off to the big island for the weekend later this month. Seriously ridiculous.

But in more academic news, I seem to be focusing in a little more on the dissertation and hopefully after a conference presentation this weekend and a final request for fellowship application reference letter headaches out of the way, will be solidly living in the archives from here on out (except for weekend surf breaks of course). Totally ridiculous...

Archive Madness

Ok, I don't mean to complain but seriously, I do not get some of this archive procedural crap! Two of my collections are pretty chill, they let me pull all sorts of things at a time, photograph them (no flash of course). But the State Archives are driving me a little batty. You can only pull one folder at a time (not one box, one folder!) and everything you pull has to be reviewed first and approved. And then when you leave at the end of the day, even if you are coming back, they don't hold your boxes for you. Nor do they even allow you to take your call slip with you, so you have to dig up what exactly it was that you pulled in the first place (I suppose smart people would be writing that down as they go, but we know I'm not that smart!) Uggh. Archives are such bizarre social experiments. I'm convinced they are also weather experiments. It is always about 30 degrees colder with a strong windchill factor in one of my archives...kinda reminds me of Michigan. I literally go in with a hat, mittens and a sweater.

The one good thing about the State archives (aside from the huge banyan trees outside the windows) is that sometimes (like today) you are literally researching in the midst of the history that you are studying. I walked out of the archives for lunch today and lucked upon a sovereignty rally within the same courtyard as the archives. I got to see rallying calls from most of the famous Hawaiian sovereignty activists whose books inspired me to study Hawaiian history in the first place! It was pretty fascinating.

Yes We Did!!!!

What an amazing day!!! I think this is the first time I've felt proud of the USA. What a bizarre feeling to actually admire the person who will be leading the country. After 8 years of having a president who caused a gag reflex every time I saw him; what an inspiring change. Yaaaaaay Obama!

Now if only California could respect the human rights of their residents....c'mon guys, grow the fuck up!!!!

My Happy Place

So I'm still trying to get settled into my apartment so that it feels a bit homier, and I don't continue to feel like a dissertating nomad. It's tough at the moment because I am couchless (waiting on a freebie from my landlord that has gotten delayed, as she's waiting on her new replacement). So there's still no real comfy place to relax in my apartment, but I've come to love my lanai, which I've filled with tropical plants, flowers and herbs to keep my company. It's my happy place. After three years of below zero winters in Michigan, I must say that I'm definitely taking full advantage of the ability to drink my coffee and read my paper outside; with the only deterrence from staying there all day is when it gets too sunny and I have to go find shade elsewhere...oh and that whole needing to collect materials at the archive thing. Doh!

From 2000 Miles East of Cali to over 2000 Miles West...

...landing smack dab in the Pacific!

Yup, I've finally arrived and gotten almost completely settled into my new digs in Honolulu. The move has been pretty tiring and caused me to reflect on cumulative exhaustion from having gone through eight major moves in the past 12 years (La Jolla, Davis, Bay, Evanston, Bay, Eugene, Ann Arbor, Honolulu) and my growing craving to just be in one place indefinitely. That said, I can't complain about this latest locale. I've definitely noticed a strangely small town kind of friendliness here despite the fact that Honolulu is the 12th largest city in the country. And by small town caricature, I mean more a vibe of people seeming to have the time and willingness to talk to you and help when you tell them your new in town. It's seems way more laid back and a friendlier vibe just around town than most places I've been (with the exception of New Zealand, which also ranks right up there).

I will say though about moves, I've definitely learned (or relearned, cuz it seems I'd forgotten since the last move) that moves are always about three times as costly and take about three times as long as you expect. I think this move was particularly challenging because I showed up in Honolulu on my own and had to furnish my place on the third floor of this complex and my arms/wrists have been acting up again (for those of you who are familiar with my intermittent physical therapy fun, it's been coming back). Another major challenge is that Honolulu lacks many of the moving stores that I took for granted as a poor grad student on the continent (IKEA, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Linens and Things). I cringe admitting this, but I actually had to go to Walmart for some things that I just couldn't afford elsewhere. Ick. I feel like a complete traitor to the labor movement. Another hurdle was both Honolulu's traffic and lack of any sort of street grid system. The latter of which led to many hours of getting lost, circling around and ending up on one way streets in rush hour (which seems to be many hours of the day here). So it's been a busy busy couple of weeks.

I arrived 9 days ago, and finally got all furniture built today, all (but one) boxes unpacked, all emptied boxes to the garbage, all food and patio plants purchased, and almost all electronics set up (still got to hook up printers/monitors, etc). I've even begun a Hawaiian language class (attended two so far) and got signed up for Students for Obama today while walking through campus. I'm hoping to do a few different volunteer activities in between research to see if I can meet some people. It dawned on me a few days ago that I don't know anyone here and have no friends nearby and that...well...stinks. It's the nature of the beast I know; moving. And not having close friends nearby is certainly not something new (those of you who've heard me bitch and moan about that for the past three years). But I think with this move, it's particularly challenging because in every other move, I have arrived to some sort of structure that would offer an immediate cohort (with school) or set of colleagues (with work), and this is very different. Any folks I'll meet out here, I'm gonna have to seek out on my own. I have some ideas in mind of where to go and how to do it, and I think with another week or two to get settled (more cleaning and get into a groove with work) hopefully I can get out there and practice my social skills again. They've certainly been rusty for awhile.

Another move, another adventure. I'll get my camera up and going soon and put photos up once I get out and around. I gotta say, I totally lucked out on my apartment. My landlord rocks, she's charging me about 400-500 dollars under value because she doesn't believe in price gouging students. Crazy lucky I am. I think I'll bake her some cookies. :)

Summer Post...delinquent blogger returns!

I've once again been a delinquent blogger for about four months. No excuses. Just a lot of running around and transition these past few months, with more to come in the next few weeks.

Since last posting, I've moved away from Ann Arbor (defended my dissertation proposal before doing so), been hanging back in the Bay with the folks, took a short trip to Mexico with my Mom, a short trip to Hawaii to do research and look for fall housing, a short trip to Pasadena to present that research (with the fabulous company of Miss V) and am now back in the Bay gearing up for another big move in September.

I plan to be a better blogger once I get settled in Honolulu, and hopefully with a new camera (yet to be purchased) can illustrate my postings with some photos of the new digs.

Another thing I've been doing this month is watching lots of olympics and consequently have become (along with everyone else) a Phelps-fan!

The Final Four...

...weeks that is before I blow this joint! Woohoo! As exciting as that feels-- the idea of getting outta the midwest indefinitely and returning to Cali to chill with my homies-- a few major hurdles are left to jump:

1. Write/Revise/Defend Dissertation Prospectus...Ick, ick, and ick!

2. Finish teaching seminar, learn how to be a prepared future faculty member...retain as much info as I can since I won't be tapping into it again for another 2-3 years

3. Pack/Ship Boxes/Sell Stuff online

4. Sell my car...boo, sniffle, sadness

5. Jump on an airplane, fly home, regain semblance of sanity that existed before coming to crazy grad school program.

6. Plan fun reunion with Oregoniehomies!!!! This last step you all must participate in!!!!

It's the final countdown...do do do do...do do do do do...do do do do...do do do do do do doooooooo!

Tulip Time!

One thing I will definitely miss about the Midwest is how noticeable seasonal changes are here. After surviving many months of cold and snow (for the third year in a row) I find myself far more appreciative of the color that comes out in the spring, all these beautiful tulips dotting yards, walkways, and in the photos above...the fields in Holland, Michigan! Tulips are a big deal there and I finally got out to see them this past weekend, while my cousin was in town.

We also finally got out to the DIA (Detroit Institute of Art) and sampled some of Detroit's tasty BBQ dining. I was very impressed by the DIA, primarily this corridor area where Diego Rivera painted the walls with murals of industrial workers during the Great Depression.* This alone is worth a trip to the museum, as I'm not sure I've ever seen anything quite like it. You could easily spend hours staring at these murals trying to decipher the multitude of messages embedded within them (as my Marxist South African buddies recommended that I do).

It's amazing that having been here for almost three years, this is the first weekend I've gotten out and about to explore Detroit (or parts at least) and tulip-ville!

*This is one side of the four-sided set of murals

The Story of Passover...Recap

So last weekend, me and my superjewness threw a superseder! Y'all know how religious I am (hee hee) and yet despite my orthodox followings, I'd forgotten passover was coming up. Oops. While shopping at Trader Joes, I was reminded of this by my gentile friends, when they asked "hey Jew, what are you doing for Passover?" (Ok, so maybe they didn't say "hey Jew"...although it would be a little McCartney-esque right? "Hey Jew...don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better..." I digress).

So anyhow, upon realizing I had too much grading and dissertation prospectus work to the take the time to do a proper seder, I decided to get a little creative this year with my interpretation of religious traditions. And so, for our seder I created a seder plate of bagels and lox (see photo), realizing after the fact that bagels are about the most leavened bread you could possibly eat! Double Oops. The cup for Elijah this year was provided by E's fabulous gift of smurfy goodness glass! (see photo of sacred cup being held up by religious followers).

We recited the story of passover (as best as I could remember..."why on all other nights do we eat ramen and spaghetti, and on this night we eat bagels and lox?") And we dabbed our plates with wine (see photo), reciting as many of God's plagues as I could remember and adding some new ones to the list: God smote the peeps with vermon, locusts, frogs, slaying of first born, prelims, Republicans, Cheney and Bush, etc..."

For dessert we indulged in Japanese mochi, because let's be honest, what kind of traditional Jewish meal doesn't involve Asian cuisine? And of course to provide the most Jewish of atmospheres we listened to Simon and Garfunkle throughout the evening, and capped our festivities off with Mel Brooks' History of the World Part 1. All in all, a very fun evening. I'm thinking my fellow "chosen people" would be proud. Or horrified. One or the other.

Sad Mac...

I got the teaching blues today. It was my last sections for the semester and I was so sad to say goodbye to my students. They were both such great classes. They were so cute at the end too, they each gave me a round of applause. It made my heart smile. One of my favorite students came up to me after class and said it was the best section he's ever been in and that "when students are laughing it means they are learning" so that I should keep up the humor.

While I've definitely felt oooober exhausted this semester from teaching and dissertation anxiety, it's also been a really good semester in reminding me why I came here in the first place. I absolutely love love love teaching. I just am going to have to work on the separation anxiety I seem to get when classes end...such a sad mac.

Inspired by Art and Activism

I went to a gallery showing today put on by University of Michigan's Prison Creative Art Project. One of my former undergraduate superstars is involved in organizing poetry workshops at a woman's prison nearby and I went to hear her and her group give readings last month and was blown away. The exhibit today was another component of the program focused on visual arts and theater. They also released a documentary film on the program that followed the history of the program, started about 12 years ago by a Professor here (I think in English?) who went around to Michigan's many (way too many) prisons teaching guerilla theater.

The film and gallery showing also included a panel of former inmates speaking (and fielding questions) about their artwork and time in prison and also allowed them the chance to walk through the gallery and present to the audience on other artist's work. It was revealing to walk around this gallery and look at the patterns among people's choice of images they painted; lots of statue or liberties (one had a noose around her neck and was titled "Jena Six"), so many images that illustrate how disproportionately prisons are filled with Native American and African American inmates.

The program is amazing, and makes me wonder if others like it exist in other states. It's based on the philosophy that every human being (regardless of past mistakes or crimes) has a right to create art. The organizers noted that among the hundreds and hundreds of prisoners they work with, they never ask why the prisoner is there. They are focused on destigmatizing prisoners and they've also created a program to link outcoming prisoner artists with artist mentors in the community.

This evening I came home and started reading two of Angela Davis' recent books on prisons. I think my dissertation is going to head in the direction of looking at colonial and imperial knowledge producing spaces from schools to prisons to military bases in Hawaii. We'll see...I still have no clue how anyone figures out dissertation ideas.

But art, art, art...far more inspiring than dissertation thoughts...here's another, entitled "Making the Choice" (the one up top was titled "Yet Free")

Delinquent Blogger Repents!!!!

Ok, I'm flogging myself at the moment in guilt and shame for taking approximately 4 months to update my blog (an entire semester's worth of time). And yes, I know what kind of holes excuses are like and that everybody has one. ;)

And now that I am digital camera savvy, I have included a photo display below that can update the past four months. Winter came and yes, has stayed in Michigan. I officially reached my critical edge of sanity yesterday as I walked home in yet another snow storm and declared to no longer leave my apartment for the duration of the semester. I will just have to teach my students via satellite (yeah, like that would blow over, uggh).

Brief run down of events since November: Rocked the socks of prelims (yeehaw!) and have been in an intellectually comatosed state ever since (I'm beginning to think you don't ever bounce back energy-wise after prelims, or maybe it's a winter thing), had a couple great visits back to the Bay, taught two big lectures this semester and boosted my confidence on speaking in front of filled lecture halls (the two were: 19th century empire in the Pacific and Caribbean and the Vietnam War), have been teaching sections for the U.S. history survey this semester with two of the best classes I've ever had (my students are awesome! Super engaged, super fun to teach),

I also just participated in our GEO union strike this week (our GEO won a new contract) and gained a new appreciation for unions and strikes in a way that no history books (no matter how much labor history I've read) could teach me. I will never cross a picket line again (although I can't remember if I ever have). I have such a new respect for how important solidarity is and also how challenging picketing is. Our contract only flew because the construction workers on campus joined us in solidarity and stopped working and took a paycut, and basically cost the University way too much money in construction delays. I also attended this fabulous conference in the past couple weeks called the Campus Lockdown to address issues facing faculty women of color (the event was brought on by the tenure denial of Andy Smith, one of the most amazing scholars on campus--nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize). Anyone interested in seeing the panels from the conference can look up Campus Lockdown on Youtube, I would definitely check out the one with Piya Chaterjee and Clarissa Rojas. They also patched in Angela Davis via satellite (Histcon in the house!!!)

And lastly I've been trying to sort my dissertation proposal and finally secured my chair/co-chair this week and am hoping to write something up and defend it by May. Blah-dee-blah-blah, but that's basically the jist of it. Oh and I'm excited to get to do this teaching program through the university's learning center in May. I had a moment this week where I realized one thing I love about teaching (and am excited for in the future as I get to create my own classes) is bringing in music. Next week I'm going to play my students Phil Ochs "Love me I'm a Liberal" (Intemperate Speech, thanks for that awesome CD compilation again!)

As for what's coming up: hoping to get out of Michigan by the end of May (after hopefully defending diss. proposal). Then heading back to Cali for some RnR, then out to Hawaii for a short research/look at housing trip, then to August conference with Miss Dolce Vita!), then the big move to Hawaii hopefully by the end of August, early September. And hope hope hope to see my lovely Oregonian crew for a reunion either before I take off for Hawaii...or you can all come visit me there!

There's the update...here's the photos...and I'll promise to be better with postings now! Oh and since I couldn't figure out how to do captions, you can read the following photos as: Fall in Ann Arbor, Prelims madness, Winter's attack my my car, and union solidarity (me at a grade-in with GEO!)

Other Career Possibilities...

So as this test looms closer, I find it liberating to imagine other career options I can pursue on the off chance (or likelihood) of not passing. Somehow searching for a few career sounds more appealing than prepping for this exam any longer than this semester. Maybe I could be a marine biologist...a pastry chef...film critic?

I'm officially 13 days out, and still reading new stuff. Ick. I've given up the idea of having much time for review. I still have about 30 new things on the Pacific to read between today and tomorrow, which may allow me about 9 days max to read through everything again. Ick. The good news is I know I have at least one out of three professors in my corner. She's my new hero, she's already offered to throw me and my fellow test taker buddy a dinner party the night of our exam. Love her! But not so sure I have the confident backing of the other two so much, and I feel like I still have so much to review, synthesize, put into coherent words. Ick, ick, ick. This process sucks big time. Boo. :(

It's Official: I've drunk the coolaid

The coolaid of cultural history that is. Yup, I realized it tonight in my urban/suburban history class, after I stood on my soapbox for what seemed like ages and attacked political history for ignoring cultural analysis. I think I may have scared some folks, cuz the class is primarily liberals and many of the books are based on the assumption of progress through policy making. I think the more I read for prelims, the less I'm convinced by the liberal ideas of progress and the more I buy the idea that revolution begins at the barrel of a gun (isn't that how it goes?). I'm convinced this primarily comes from so much studying of colonialism when policymaking seems so detached. I think its about power and othering and mythmaking. I think all of these inform policies and laws anyhow, so when urban histories talk about policymakers, judges, politicians as if they are somehow immune or detached from the culture in which they operate, a "national" one built on slavery, colonialism, empire and capitalism and then wonder why homeowners don't think more communally and aren't willing to sacrifice for another (an "other" who they've been racializing for centuries anyhow), it drives me nuts!

Every week, we spin out into the same wall, trying to figure out why privileged whites didn't act the way we'd like them to have acted. And all of this talk without any discussion of power and privilege in subject formation. Why would people sacrifice? They live in a nation that tells them that everyone is where they are because they either earned it, or are culturally inferior and thus deserve their lot. There is something fundamentally wrong with liberalism. And yet if you accept radicalism, do you just stay depressed waiting for the revolution that will never happen? Or do you spin out into Foucauldian web and accept your own normalization?

You knew the academic rant was coming...sorry. I'll get off my soapbox now.

Losing basic words...

Ok, so I know this blog has become a basic journal of reflections on prelims, which is ick boring, but I'm pretty sure all that's left in my brain at this point. So the latest development, in addition to reduced vision, is I'm beginning to lose basic words. I was trying to ask someone in class the other night if there was a vending machine on our floor (since I'm also losing time to schedule normal eating breaks) and I couldn't recall the name so I had to ask if there was a "machine that gives food on the floor." Ugggh. Good news is, I've managed to plow through about 10 books a day in mass culture and pacific history. I'm wondering if that's a good sign or bad?

I miss my Oregonies!!! I've realized that in addition to prelims depleting my ability for everyday word usage, it's also shortened my censorship skills and patience around fellow cohort members, the bulk of whom I can no longer deal with in a polite manner. I think the lack of energy and exhaustion has squashed even my ability to do the "smile and nod" bit when these students wax on about how politically authentic they are in front of our profs. When you add alcohol to the mix, the sarcasm just seems to flow. Ah well. What can you do? Read another 90 books I guess. That's the plan. Boo. :(

Scholars Throw Down

So the irony of my current readings and eventual research is that the book that was the bane of my existence at Oregon (y'all remember it...612 fun: Islands of History) will probably be core to future work. The funny thing is tonight I've read the two follow up books to Islands and come to a couple realizations: first off, Marshall Sahlins isn't as bad as I took him for the first time around (although it still pisses me off when academics throw French into their books at those key moments when you need to understand the crux of their arguments, and not to mention that it's taken me three times in reading Islands to have a marginal sense of what the heck dude's talking about).

But that said, the other thing I've learned is that if I ever publish anything in the future and it gets bad reviews, I will always remind myself to look back at the book length attack on Sahlins by Obeyesekere and then the book length rebuttal from Sahlins. Holy crap dude, couldn't they just write two page reviews like the rest of snooty academics? Apparently not, and the result is nearly 200 pages (in each case) of intellectual sparring. Lots of cheap shots to the jugular.

Academics...freakin nutty.

Neighbors...

I need to go live in a cabin in the middle of a forest. My neighbors are so loud. On one side of me is a dude who I'm convinced thinks he's American Idol (Johnny Cash style) and on the other side, a couple with bad music taste played at a volume that is penetrating my ear plug defenses. Now I suppose I could ask them to quiet it down, but the sad thing is, it's a Saturday night, not even 10pm yet and the reason I need quiet is because I'm home reading. Ick. Perhaps they just seem loud and obnoxious to me because they're obviously not reading on a Saturday night. Or perhaps it's because if I were them, and not shackled to the books for the next several weekends, I'd get the hell out of this apartment and be elsewhere.

Ahhh, but then reality sinks in and I realize, they too are stuck in Ann Arbor, where nothingness (and beingness?) resides and thus explains their choice of apartment entertainment.

Can you tell I've had my fill of prelims and Ann Arbor...and this freakin apartmnet? Is it obvious that the fill came oh, I dunno, say...three months ago?

Freakin' neighbors....grrrrrr!!!!

I don't know...

Jack crap!!!! Or so it would seem. I'm convinced that studying for prelims seems to confirm this reality on a daily basis. Especially since this week, my usual floggings of inferior knowledge capacity have expanded to the Pacific. Holy crap dudes, the learning curve feels like trying to summit everest. Particularly because all of the general history books I'm starting with (each about 450 pages long and un-skimmable) begin with the peopling of the Pacific (we're talking homo erectus archeology stuff) continuing to contemporary politics. Hmmm...bad idea to choose this as a field to read up on in 5 weeks? Perhaps. But on the flip side, if I didn't have to feel super rushed with the lingering pressure of exams coming up I would be finding this super fulfilling. There are so many fascinating debates going on in pacific history.

Anyhoo, in other non-dorked out news...ummm...the leaves here are turning super orangy-yellow-starbursty beautiful! And I still think Jon Stewart should be president.

AWOL Pumpkins

Inspired by fall's burnt leafy smells and E's reminder of the season for snoopy dancing, I bought myself some pumpkins and candy corns. The pumpkins were placed stylishly on my little porch stoop next to my newly purchased welcome mat and mum/pansy flower bed making a nice little entry way to my otherwise unremarkable apartment. After one day of gracing my porch, I noticed something wrong in pumpkin land. One of the pumpkins appeared to have jumped ship, gone AWOL and left the others behind. Upon closer inspection of the remaining pumpkins, I noticed that these ones seemed to have some sort of body image disorder, as their stems were withering away to a much skinnier appearance. And thus I came to the realization that my porch was being terrorized by local bullies....aka ferocious squirrels who'd mistaken my stylish entourage for their fall feast. This suspicion was confirmed when I glanced around the parking lot to find the missing pumpkin (who in retrospect likely did not voluntarily abandoned his unit) seated on the side of a fence mutilated almost beyond recognition. And thus, my entourage of pumpkins has moved to the interior of my apartment until such time comes to carve them into Jack-O-Lanterns that will likely only survive display under the watchful eye of their carver (aka: me) who will be armed and ready for those neighborhood bullies.