The Story of Passover...Recap

So last weekend, me and my superjewness threw a superseder! Y'all know how religious I am (hee hee) and yet despite my orthodox followings, I'd forgotten passover was coming up. Oops. While shopping at Trader Joes, I was reminded of this by my gentile friends, when they asked "hey Jew, what are you doing for Passover?" (Ok, so maybe they didn't say "hey Jew"...although it would be a little McCartney-esque right? "Hey Jew...don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better..." I digress).

So anyhow, upon realizing I had too much grading and dissertation prospectus work to the take the time to do a proper seder, I decided to get a little creative this year with my interpretation of religious traditions. And so, for our seder I created a seder plate of bagels and lox (see photo), realizing after the fact that bagels are about the most leavened bread you could possibly eat! Double Oops. The cup for Elijah this year was provided by E's fabulous gift of smurfy goodness glass! (see photo of sacred cup being held up by religious followers).

We recited the story of passover (as best as I could remember..."why on all other nights do we eat ramen and spaghetti, and on this night we eat bagels and lox?") And we dabbed our plates with wine (see photo), reciting as many of God's plagues as I could remember and adding some new ones to the list: God smote the peeps with vermon, locusts, frogs, slaying of first born, prelims, Republicans, Cheney and Bush, etc..."

For dessert we indulged in Japanese mochi, because let's be honest, what kind of traditional Jewish meal doesn't involve Asian cuisine? And of course to provide the most Jewish of atmospheres we listened to Simon and Garfunkle throughout the evening, and capped our festivities off with Mel Brooks' History of the World Part 1. All in all, a very fun evening. I'm thinking my fellow "chosen people" would be proud. Or horrified. One or the other.

Sad Mac...

I got the teaching blues today. It was my last sections for the semester and I was so sad to say goodbye to my students. They were both such great classes. They were so cute at the end too, they each gave me a round of applause. It made my heart smile. One of my favorite students came up to me after class and said it was the best section he's ever been in and that "when students are laughing it means they are learning" so that I should keep up the humor.

While I've definitely felt oooober exhausted this semester from teaching and dissertation anxiety, it's also been a really good semester in reminding me why I came here in the first place. I absolutely love love love teaching. I just am going to have to work on the separation anxiety I seem to get when classes end...such a sad mac.

Inspired by Art and Activism

I went to a gallery showing today put on by University of Michigan's Prison Creative Art Project. One of my former undergraduate superstars is involved in organizing poetry workshops at a woman's prison nearby and I went to hear her and her group give readings last month and was blown away. The exhibit today was another component of the program focused on visual arts and theater. They also released a documentary film on the program that followed the history of the program, started about 12 years ago by a Professor here (I think in English?) who went around to Michigan's many (way too many) prisons teaching guerilla theater.

The film and gallery showing also included a panel of former inmates speaking (and fielding questions) about their artwork and time in prison and also allowed them the chance to walk through the gallery and present to the audience on other artist's work. It was revealing to walk around this gallery and look at the patterns among people's choice of images they painted; lots of statue or liberties (one had a noose around her neck and was titled "Jena Six"), so many images that illustrate how disproportionately prisons are filled with Native American and African American inmates.

The program is amazing, and makes me wonder if others like it exist in other states. It's based on the philosophy that every human being (regardless of past mistakes or crimes) has a right to create art. The organizers noted that among the hundreds and hundreds of prisoners they work with, they never ask why the prisoner is there. They are focused on destigmatizing prisoners and they've also created a program to link outcoming prisoner artists with artist mentors in the community.

This evening I came home and started reading two of Angela Davis' recent books on prisons. I think my dissertation is going to head in the direction of looking at colonial and imperial knowledge producing spaces from schools to prisons to military bases in Hawaii. We'll see...I still have no clue how anyone figures out dissertation ideas.

But art, art, art...far more inspiring than dissertation thoughts...here's another, entitled "Making the Choice" (the one up top was titled "Yet Free")

Delinquent Blogger Repents!!!!

Ok, I'm flogging myself at the moment in guilt and shame for taking approximately 4 months to update my blog (an entire semester's worth of time). And yes, I know what kind of holes excuses are like and that everybody has one. ;)

And now that I am digital camera savvy, I have included a photo display below that can update the past four months. Winter came and yes, has stayed in Michigan. I officially reached my critical edge of sanity yesterday as I walked home in yet another snow storm and declared to no longer leave my apartment for the duration of the semester. I will just have to teach my students via satellite (yeah, like that would blow over, uggh).

Brief run down of events since November: Rocked the socks of prelims (yeehaw!) and have been in an intellectually comatosed state ever since (I'm beginning to think you don't ever bounce back energy-wise after prelims, or maybe it's a winter thing), had a couple great visits back to the Bay, taught two big lectures this semester and boosted my confidence on speaking in front of filled lecture halls (the two were: 19th century empire in the Pacific and Caribbean and the Vietnam War), have been teaching sections for the U.S. history survey this semester with two of the best classes I've ever had (my students are awesome! Super engaged, super fun to teach),

I also just participated in our GEO union strike this week (our GEO won a new contract) and gained a new appreciation for unions and strikes in a way that no history books (no matter how much labor history I've read) could teach me. I will never cross a picket line again (although I can't remember if I ever have). I have such a new respect for how important solidarity is and also how challenging picketing is. Our contract only flew because the construction workers on campus joined us in solidarity and stopped working and took a paycut, and basically cost the University way too much money in construction delays. I also attended this fabulous conference in the past couple weeks called the Campus Lockdown to address issues facing faculty women of color (the event was brought on by the tenure denial of Andy Smith, one of the most amazing scholars on campus--nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize). Anyone interested in seeing the panels from the conference can look up Campus Lockdown on Youtube, I would definitely check out the one with Piya Chaterjee and Clarissa Rojas. They also patched in Angela Davis via satellite (Histcon in the house!!!)

And lastly I've been trying to sort my dissertation proposal and finally secured my chair/co-chair this week and am hoping to write something up and defend it by May. Blah-dee-blah-blah, but that's basically the jist of it. Oh and I'm excited to get to do this teaching program through the university's learning center in May. I had a moment this week where I realized one thing I love about teaching (and am excited for in the future as I get to create my own classes) is bringing in music. Next week I'm going to play my students Phil Ochs "Love me I'm a Liberal" (Intemperate Speech, thanks for that awesome CD compilation again!)

As for what's coming up: hoping to get out of Michigan by the end of May (after hopefully defending diss. proposal). Then heading back to Cali for some RnR, then out to Hawaii for a short research/look at housing trip, then to August conference with Miss Dolce Vita!), then the big move to Hawaii hopefully by the end of August, early September. And hope hope hope to see my lovely Oregonian crew for a reunion either before I take off for Hawaii...or you can all come visit me there!

There's the update...here's the photos...and I'll promise to be better with postings now! Oh and since I couldn't figure out how to do captions, you can read the following photos as: Fall in Ann Arbor, Prelims madness, Winter's attack my my car, and union solidarity (me at a grade-in with GEO!)

Other Career Possibilities...

So as this test looms closer, I find it liberating to imagine other career options I can pursue on the off chance (or likelihood) of not passing. Somehow searching for a few career sounds more appealing than prepping for this exam any longer than this semester. Maybe I could be a marine biologist...a pastry chef...film critic?

I'm officially 13 days out, and still reading new stuff. Ick. I've given up the idea of having much time for review. I still have about 30 new things on the Pacific to read between today and tomorrow, which may allow me about 9 days max to read through everything again. Ick. The good news is I know I have at least one out of three professors in my corner. She's my new hero, she's already offered to throw me and my fellow test taker buddy a dinner party the night of our exam. Love her! But not so sure I have the confident backing of the other two so much, and I feel like I still have so much to review, synthesize, put into coherent words. Ick, ick, ick. This process sucks big time. Boo. :(

It's Official: I've drunk the coolaid

The coolaid of cultural history that is. Yup, I realized it tonight in my urban/suburban history class, after I stood on my soapbox for what seemed like ages and attacked political history for ignoring cultural analysis. I think I may have scared some folks, cuz the class is primarily liberals and many of the books are based on the assumption of progress through policy making. I think the more I read for prelims, the less I'm convinced by the liberal ideas of progress and the more I buy the idea that revolution begins at the barrel of a gun (isn't that how it goes?). I'm convinced this primarily comes from so much studying of colonialism when policymaking seems so detached. I think its about power and othering and mythmaking. I think all of these inform policies and laws anyhow, so when urban histories talk about policymakers, judges, politicians as if they are somehow immune or detached from the culture in which they operate, a "national" one built on slavery, colonialism, empire and capitalism and then wonder why homeowners don't think more communally and aren't willing to sacrifice for another (an "other" who they've been racializing for centuries anyhow), it drives me nuts!

Every week, we spin out into the same wall, trying to figure out why privileged whites didn't act the way we'd like them to have acted. And all of this talk without any discussion of power and privilege in subject formation. Why would people sacrifice? They live in a nation that tells them that everyone is where they are because they either earned it, or are culturally inferior and thus deserve their lot. There is something fundamentally wrong with liberalism. And yet if you accept radicalism, do you just stay depressed waiting for the revolution that will never happen? Or do you spin out into Foucauldian web and accept your own normalization?

You knew the academic rant was coming...sorry. I'll get off my soapbox now.

Losing basic words...

Ok, so I know this blog has become a basic journal of reflections on prelims, which is ick boring, but I'm pretty sure all that's left in my brain at this point. So the latest development, in addition to reduced vision, is I'm beginning to lose basic words. I was trying to ask someone in class the other night if there was a vending machine on our floor (since I'm also losing time to schedule normal eating breaks) and I couldn't recall the name so I had to ask if there was a "machine that gives food on the floor." Ugggh. Good news is, I've managed to plow through about 10 books a day in mass culture and pacific history. I'm wondering if that's a good sign or bad?

I miss my Oregonies!!! I've realized that in addition to prelims depleting my ability for everyday word usage, it's also shortened my censorship skills and patience around fellow cohort members, the bulk of whom I can no longer deal with in a polite manner. I think the lack of energy and exhaustion has squashed even my ability to do the "smile and nod" bit when these students wax on about how politically authentic they are in front of our profs. When you add alcohol to the mix, the sarcasm just seems to flow. Ah well. What can you do? Read another 90 books I guess. That's the plan. Boo. :(